The Smart Refrigerator?

Bryan Douebleu
Clinical Cynic
June 11, 2016

I am sure that you, like me, often encounter absurd commercials throughout your week – not all of which are comprised of drug marketing by the legal drug cartels. Well, I’m here to share with you what is thee most pathetic thing I have seen yet that someone is selling. And yes, I am sure there are going to be lots of idiots out there that are too lazy to do a quick audit to formulate a shopping list.

I give to you the Samsung advert titled “Family Hub: Birthday Party”. Enjoy before you break down at the current human state:

That’s right; you don’t have to be “B” list celebrity to have a swinging party – all you need is your smartphone integrated with your Goddamned refrigerator. And rest assured, we all know you can’t party 24/7 and that everyone requires downtime… Fear not pleb, even then, with your Xbox in the living room, connected to a ‘smart’ TV, along with ‘smart’ TV’s in bedrooms, smart phones all handedly close by – even while you sleep, and your shiny new ‘smart’ refrigerator in the kitchen, your alphabet friends will always be watching, or listening, over you.

It’s all worth the cost to wallet and privacy – you can now see into your refrigerator – LIVE… As well as send texts to other family members to your new ‘smart’ refrigerator door (never mind every idiot now has a smartphone, anyways, which can receive texts).

I am now at a total loss for words. If Hale-Bopp was making a pass right about now I might start scheming…

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